I once had a car that any key could unlock. Of course, at the time I was buying that Nissan, I totally assumed it’ll respond only to the key I’d been given- My key- until I lost it one day, and my mechanic decided to try his key. He had a bunch of keys that day and most of them, very easily unlocked my car.
I felt betrayed by the car I loved. I felt it had no loyalty to me. I had bought that car when no one wanted it, and at not so low a price. I had made it look cool and sexy and smooth to drive. I loved that car. It had cost me everything to acquire but could I ever trust her?
I realised that as long as the car was parked in my yard, I had little to worry about but anytime I took it to town, I got jittery. If I had to step out for a while and grab something from a shop nearby, I got worried. If some one came over and said something nice about my car, I got worried. Every little thing got me worried.
Trust is not something most people think about when they think about love. The young tend to believe as long as there is good chemistry, and wild laughter and great sex, then nothing else matters.
Like a seed sown on shallow, loamy soil their love blossoms quickly… and then they hit a rock. The seasons change. The feelings wane. A job opportunity or school admission relocates one and forcefully wedges itself between the two of them. One falls sick or gets broke or pregnant or arrested or lost… and then they realise, there is really nothing to hold on to. It is just hard to love someone, who never won your trust or whose trust you never won.
The issue with trust is, there is no quick way to earn it. You can’t just shove a million cedis into someone’s face over a counter and they pick it up from the shelf and wrap it for you. Trust is earned, one kind decision at a time. Trust is earned one tough decision at a time. Trust is earned one apology at a time. Trust is earned one thoughtfulness at a time.
Sex sizzles and fizzles as quickly. If that is all you ever wanted, that is fine but no human being was created just for sex. Our total value is more than the functionality of each of our organs. We were created for companionship; to be by each other through all of life’s changing seasons. Yes, we are supposed to have mind-blowing sex and never ending laughter along the way but in the end, all laughter must cease. Every music fades at some point. When the light goes out, can I still feel your breath? Will you hold my hand in the dark and let’s find our way out together?
Trust is everything, when all you have left is nothing. Trust is everything, every time.
Photographer & Writer: Nana Kofi Acquah
Model: Nancy Everett
Location: Sandpiper, Langma